just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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