she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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