I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
