Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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