I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
