Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
