Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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