You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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