we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
