its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
