Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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