Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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