I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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