please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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