wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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