I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
