you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
