you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
