so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
