i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
