You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
