It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
