everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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