This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He better not be in your backpack
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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