So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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