Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize