how can u be prego again
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
