We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
