i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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