I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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