Don't you send me to vm
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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