Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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