I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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