Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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