I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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