just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
