You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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