with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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