my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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