My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
