Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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