Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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