i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
