Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
