it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
