my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So much Jack, so little girl.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
