I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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