I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
