I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
