May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
one might say we're banned from that church
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
