so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
