I am puke
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Text me some of your sweat
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
