Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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