we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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