i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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