Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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