dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
where are my eyebrows?
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