My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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