he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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