Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
