Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
