That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
