I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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