I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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