we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize