What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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