Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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