party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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