Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He felt like a one man threesome
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
