Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
