so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
