Your face is a jimmy john
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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