I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
