I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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