as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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